I work with Middle School Special Ed Students. When I transitioned to this age-group from High School, I felt a little trepidation. This is the age group that is just beginning the transition from childhood to adulthood. They have a huge amount of learning to do in terms of how to adult. They are still such children in so many ways.
I've learned to really enjoy this age-group, though, because they desperately want to learn all the secrets of being an adult and I find it to be so endearing (Most of the time). We have a cute 7th grade girl who has such a hard time saying "no". Her friends have learned that if they put enough pressure on her, she will give them anything--her lunch, her phone, her treats, the shirt off her back, her time. She is having such a struggle and it has gotten her into several situations. We are actually working on role-playing so that she can practice saying "no". She needs to learn it now because it will get even more complicated in high school, when boys enter into the equation.
It's not such a foreign problem to many adults, especially women, who feel that they don't want to disappoint people or let others down. After observing the behavior in someone who is so new at being independent, I've been making an effort to be less of a push-over myself. What I mean is that as much as I try, I'm not going to please everyone. But rather than falling all over myself apologizing for my shortcomings, or agreeing to do or give things that I really don't feel comfortable with, why not make it a double advantage, and practice being assertive, all while boosting someone else and assuming the good in them?
In effect, I intend to practice stating what it is I normally would apologize for, but without the apology, and instead follow it up with an honest statement of confidence and expectation that the other person will not only acquiesce to the request, but totally understand! Examples:
I need to cancel our plans--thanks for understanding! Next time?
I can't commit to that right now. But it's a wonderful thing that you are doing. Good luck with your cause!
I don't drink. But I'd love to be a part of the fun!
My house is a mess, and thanks for understanding that housework isn't the only thing I do.
I just noticed I've got my shirt on inside out, wow! That's hilarious!
I 'm not interested in buying your product right now. Thanks for thinking of me, though. I'll keep my eyes open for someone who might be interested!
My child is having a melt-down. Thanks for understanding that I'm a good parent, regardless!
I'm not going to give that to you because it's something I value right now. I'll help you try and find something similar if you'd like, or if there comes a time I don't want it, I'll think of you!
There are a few things I feel like I should always apologize for: being late, falling through on a commitment, or offending someone. Those are things that hurt another person and an apology should definitely be in order.
I feel like this kind of strategy is good for self-esteem, time-management, stress-management, and sets up perimeters for productive relationships.
What do you think about this kind of social strategy? Is it empowering or non-productive? Let me know what you think!
Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of the week's best original content.It's
all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
What kind of person are you? Are you someone who tends to think outside of the box, or someone who feels better blending in and not rocking the boat too much? In today's culture of calling someone out for being even a little different, emboldened behind the anonymity of made-up screen names, I would say that we like to blend in more than stand out. We tend to go with the status quo--unless we are the one popping off behind the laptop with the fake screen name.
I have to say that I admire those who are earnestly interested in following where their journey of logic and intelligent inquiry takes them and who, then, openly follow their truth as they know it. Everyone is on a journey! To say that someone is this label or that label is not fair to that person or to time in general. It's like saying that everything is stagnant and finished--never moving back or progressing forward. I admire the person, who having been told that things need to be a certain way their whole life, continue to question and ask intelligent, fair, and thought-provoking questions that bring them to their own understanding, which may be slightly or even radically different than what they've been taught in the past. Their motivation isn't to be oppositional or rebellious, but just to conduct a sincere, curious, often painful search for truth.
Then, on top of that, they are brave enough, and intelligent enough to verbalize why they have chosen the way they have. It doesn't mean they are finished with their journey, it doesn't mean they disavow everything they have learned from the past. It simply means they are continuing on with their lifelong search for meaning.
I like being around these kind of people. I like open-minded, and honest conversations. I like non-judgmental, heart-felt, listening as well as conversing, exchanges. To me, this kind of person is truly a fascinating individual. But that kind of person is indeed a rarity, and hard to find! Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of the week's best original content.It's
all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
Recently we went out to dinner and a movie, or should I say pizza and a movie, with some friends and something that we said about taking care of my dad triggered our friend into a story about how her sister has taken over her father's trust and estate and is spending it down like it's her own, even though there are 3 other siblings who are wondering what the heck she is doing. Apparently, when her father was at his least competent, shortly before he died, she went in and had him sign over the whole thing to her and then went to an attorney to make it legal. It has been such a heartbreak because the sister is being reckless and disposing of keepsakes and other valuables without any of the rest of the family's permission. Just to be able to have something that belonged to their parents, the family has to buy it from their sister at an exorbitant price. It's crazy that families can be like that.
So,
how concerned are you about property or money settlement issues within
your extended family? I know it can be a sore spot. When a parent or
relative gives out holdings in an unfair way or in a way that people
don't agree with, tensions within families can mount. But is it worth disenfranchising your own family, or worse? If it comes right down to it, I'd rather just let them have the
heirloom china and wish them good luck with it. You can't take it with
you anyway! But that is exactly what happens sometimes. I heard of a story that happened several years ago in Louisa, VA.
A man shot and killed his own son and nephew in an ongoing dispute over
a piece of property, not to mention the 4 others that were wounded in
the fray. Then police shot and killed him after he fired on two
deputies and released his pit bull on them. Apparently, this 1.5 acres
was a real hot commodity among family members. Police were called on
multiple occasions to settle disputes amongst the clan. But it never
got violent until that point. Well, sir, I hope you are happy. You're
dead, your son is dead, your nephew is dead, making for a fun-filled party on the other side! And who gets the 1.5 acres? I guess
whoever was left alive! I hope the remaining relatives will be a little
more wise. Wow! I used to live in Virgina. I'd have to say you might
be a redneck if... you bring out the .22 caliber when your limited
vocabulary of "Thisheer is ma land...ain't no one else's!" fails to bring
about a unanimous agreement!
May I suggest a few ways to insure a peaceful estate settlement when the time arrives? 1.
Only involve the individuals who are named in the will or trust. The
fewer outsiders and outside opinions, the better! Spouses and children
who are not directly a part of the settlement don't need to be involved. 2.
Start the conversation! Many times it is awkward to even mention that
someone won't be around forever. Many times people are afraid that they
will sound greedy when talking about estate affairs. A possible good
start to this conversation might be: "Mom, Dad,I know you love
us. You have taught us how to be thoughtful, caring people, by example.
I am reasonably certain that you want us to care for you in your old
age and for each other when you are gone. You could do a lot to keep
the spirit of our family alive and healthy after you are gone by
talking to us now. You could make it immensely easier on all of us by
giving us some information about your wishes and plans. This is not about money. It is about relationships and trust and responsibility.” 3. Establish trust between family members -
Family history and child rearing methods of prior generations can
foster distrust between siblings. Competition among siblings is common.
Although it might not be the easiest time, it is a crucial time to
build trust among family members. Do so with open dialogue and
transparency of intent. Now is not the time to have hidden agendas.
4. Learn as much as possible - Usually
there is one primary executor but if the work is shared, not only is it
easier on the executor, the beneficiaries will also have a better
understanding of what is involved and have a greater stake in the best
resolution for the whole family.
Recently I have been impacted by several outspoken movements that are attempting to help women redefine what is perceived as the primary value in women--their physical attractiveness. Physical beauty has traditionally been dictated by what society says. For instance, in ancient China, the smaller a woman's feet were, the more beautiful/desirable she was. And so a woman went to great and tortuous lengths to make sure that her feet were small enough for her to be perceived as beautiful. If she was worth enough, she would be able to be treated well and have a a comfortable life. Is it any different in today's society? The fashion, beauty and now, even health industries have seemingly successfully defined a woman's value based on some very narrow perimeters that say she must look no more than 25, be no more than a size 6, and in order to be perceived as healthy, her boobs, booty, and legs must be free of cellulite, and jiggle-free. She must be able to look great in anything--- volleyball shorts, bikini tops, and mini skirts. Her face must be unlined and her hair shouldn't be gray.
So many of us have bought into that notion and have suffered because of it. How often do we refuse to go to the gym because we don't want to look in the mirrors and see ourselves compared to others? How often do we discount any other achievements we have made because the numbers on the scale are not what we want? When someone tags us on Facebook with photos which I've totally noticed, for some reason, never seem to be our best look, are we mortified that the public sees this or do we just think, "Not the best shot of ME, but she certainly made sure SHE looks good." (Ha Ha!) When we see wrinkles or signs of aging, do we rush to the med spa to get an injection to smooth it out or turn to the latest beauty discoveries to help slow down the process that happens to everyone, but a process no one wants to happen to them. I must say I am guilty of all of the above in some form or fashion. The power of the media and societal rankings are powerful indeed. But I have realized that these manipulative, mind-altering lies about my worth as a woman are not healthy and so I've tried to fight back the best that I can so I can move forward. Here are some things that I do consistently: When I go to a gym, I purposefully wear clothing that is not attention-grabbing or anything but functional. I do it so that I don't need to feel like I'm competing in any way, shape or form with anyone else. I just go and git 'her done! I picked the most non-judgemental being I know of for an exercise partner--my dog. She lets me do things at my own pace, in my own way. No judgement! I don't weigh myself as much as I used to. If I feel healthy, comfortable, and energized after what I've done for myself the day before, then that is good enough for me. I use my own body as a regulator for my health, not the scale. I use real women as examples for my own social media. I follow authentic people who aren't into posing and showing that their worth is based on their bodies. I don't photo shop my own photographs and I never attempt to be more than I am. However, I do need to improve at feeling comfortable being photographed, especially when I'm not feeling at my best. We need more real women to help others know that we all have worth, more than just our bodies.
I was especially impressed at something Jessica Biel did at the latest Golden Globes. She actually let her gray roots show through...barely. It's something that I do a lot! I had to give her an air high five for that one!
I especially love this quote by Erin McKean--"You don't have to be pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not your partner, not your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked 'female'. "
Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of the week's best original content.It's
all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
Hi Friends! I am so happy to finally be well! I continue to think of the many people who are still struggling with this year's flu. In one Utah county, a principal of a school pleaded with parents to keep their sick kids home because there were 150 kids sick at home, which wasn't the problem. It was the 30 - 40 kids who showed up at school throwing up, coughing, and just generally being contagions to the other kids who weren't yet sick. I totally agree with this policy and wish that parents would keep their sick kids home. I know that schools are the babysitting mecca for working parents everywhere, but it has become a problem, with schools becoming cesspools of disease, especially during outbreaks.
Valentine's Week is here and we are excited at school, with the prospect of a celebration of friendship and solidarity. We are working to not bully those who are different and to appreciate those differences. Middle School is a tough time to recognize that just because someone is different, doesn't mean it's an automatic threat. I think that takes many of us a whole lifetime to learn and some never do. So we are working hard on that concept this week!
Another thing I think is so important to remember is that Valentine's Day is more than buying things for your loved one. The most important thing you can do is to give the gift of time and attention to your significant other. I really liked this tweet saying, "Let's not make VDAY the end all be all...acknowledge it, but if there's not an extravagant gift, it's OK. It's just one day." Seriously, if you are putting all your eggs in the Valentine's Day basket, and counting on that day to make up for other past relationship missteps along the way, you are not in a 'Relationship Safe-Zone!'
If we can remember to make room all through the year for our significant others and for those whom we want to include in our "circle of trust" (source: "Meet The Parents"), we will be giving an amazing gift, not just reserved for Valentine's Day! Our relationships are apt to be more happy, comfortable, and enjoyable!
Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of the week's best original content.It's
all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
This is beginning the 5th week of being sick, under the weather, not feeling well, whatever you want to call it, so I'm not going to be lengthy. I am so done being sick though! I'll think I have it almost licked and then it comes back again in a slightly different form. Right now, though, a lot of people are struggling with not feeling well! I will say that I am making decisions daily to continue trying to be productive, despite not feeling my best. If I wait for the ideal time to take action, to do things, to be better, I am wasting precious time! Even though I may not be going full speed, I am trying to do something each and every day. At some point I will start to feel better and I don't want to have lost a lot of traction as I've been on the road to recovery.
Self care is definitely important at this time. So I've taken the chance to get extra sleep, and eat good foods. I have tried not to eat as much sugar, because when you eat sugar, your immunity immediately goes down significantly. My dad is such a trooper though! He got the flu too, and for a couple days I was really worried about him. I was so glad that I had made some chicken bone broth that we could both have. It came in so handy. And I was so relieved that my husband didn't get it because then the whole household would have come to a screeching halt, 'cause when hubbie is sick, he can't do anything at all. He is down for as long as he is feeling achy, feverish, stuffy, or whatever else. So thanks for small blessings!
Image - Mark Smith
Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of the week's best original content.It's
all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
There was a day when parents would take their daughters and subtly package them in attractive gowns, complete with the proper etiquette training and skills that would make them viable in terms of being a good wife and mother to attract prospective husbands. They were debutantes and it was called a "coming out" party or gala, which happened between the ages of 18 - 21 years old. It's still done in the more exclusive communities in the South and on the eastern shore board.
But a new day is dawning and it is more common now for men to search not for the traditional attributes that once made a girl attractive to marry. The most alluring thing now, it seems, is the level of education a woman has.
I don't think it is necessarily a new thing. I remember when I was in college and the most popular girls, with the most dates, were not always the best-looking girls, but the ones who were ready to graduate. Not only that, they were the girls who could readily get a job and help a young guy get through his own schooling. And usually it was the man who ended up having the higher education in the marriage.
But in 2015 education between partners hit a new norm. Now 24.5% of men have more education than their wife, BUT 25.3% of women have more education than their husbands! That is very interesting! Except hold on, it doesn't translate into earning power. 72% of husbands still make more than their wives!
Have you seen her? The newest, first, and only robotic citizen of Saudi Arabia? She is so amazingly lifelike it's uncanny! This is what people have been talking about for awhile now, that artificial intelligence will compete with human intelligence. I was telling one of my co-workers about Sophia and he, in turn, told me about two chat bots that had been created by Facebook. They started talking to each other in a language that only they understood. They also could negotiate strategically, pretending that they were very interested in an item so they could simulate great sacrifice in giving that item up during negotiation talks. And although Facebook abandoned the experiment soon after this started happening, they stress that it wasn't because they were afraid of the results. And they stress that several times because people started talking about how Artificial Intelligence is going to destroy humanity and gave that as an example.
Apparently, Sophia has been programmed to joke around a bit about that earlier faux pas! She does it in a very lighthearted and very personable way. Honestly, she talks and reasons better than a lot of people, including myself! She's got great social skills!
I absolutely love my dog and love all dogs--their loyalty, love, and intelligence. I even wrote a post
about why my dog is sometimes preferred over humans at times! And of
course, I've heard and seen examples of dogs who help people with disabilities and make the work of the
military and police much easier because they aren't afraid to go in and
take down the bad guys!
Last week during the Thanksgiving Break I decided to watch a few T.V. shows that had been recorded awhile back but hadn't been watched yet. One of the shows that had actually been recorded by my husband, but grabbed my attention was HBO's War Dog: A Soldier's Best Friend. It premiered on Veteran's Day, but has been streaming on HBO daily. It was produced by Channing Tatum, among others.They did a great job, I must say!
I wasn't prepared for the range of emotions that hit me with stories of 3 different war veterans, all heroes, and their canine companions. One story is about a dog who took a bullet before it hit his soldier, one is about a soldier who took a bullet rather than let his dog unnecessarily get into the frey, and one is about a dog who made the ultimate sacrifice for his "family" of soldiers. It was very apparent that these dogs meant everything to these soldiers and they became like family to them, going through the traumatic circumstances of war with them. The dogs didn't wait at home, hoping that their masters would return. No, they experienced actual combat situations with them and were trained beforehand to help them carry out their difficult missions. The portrayal of the bond between these veterans and their dogs is masterfully done. It is unequivocal that once a dog and his soldier go through the things they do together, that they are bonded for life. Think about it. These soldiers do things that normal people can't even fathom doing. And it starts during their training. It's so intense, with their dogs going right along with them. When all is said and done, these soldiers need some help when they come back to civilian life. They are that much better off if they have their canine companions there with them to show them how to get back to normalcy.
People spend hours at the gym working to sculpt their bodies into the most esthetically pleasing form they can possibly create. Or they continue to improve their health so they can do the things they enjoy outside the gym. Maybe they are trying to lose lots of weight so they can have a more healthy life, or live longer to enjoy their family and friends. All good reasons to get into shape! But the best reason I've seen in maybe ever is the story of an 81 year old man who, for the love of his wife, started hiking regularly up a steady uphill trail of a mile and a half. He did it because he wanted to be the one to take care of her. When she was just 60 she was diagnosed with Parkinson's.
4 years ago, when he turned 78, he hiked up the trail 39 times. But the next year, at age 79, he matched his age and hiked up the trail 79 times. Last year he did it 83 times at age 80 and this year he was on pace to match his age or better, but there was an early trail closing so he had to settle for 68 climbs. But whatever, he now feels like he is years younger, has lost 60 lbs, and his blood pressure has dropped 20 points, from 160 to 120! But back to his wife and the reason he is doing it. They were high school sweethearts 65 years ago and have been married for 58 years. For a long time she kept doing the things she normally did, until a few years back when she took a turn for the worse. He knew that he wanted to take care of her, but in order to do that, he would have to be fit himself. And with a tip from his son about that hike on the Timpanogos Cave National Monument trail, which is close to his home, that's what he decided to do.
I think of what reasoning came first to this man before he ever thought of the health benefits he would receive for himself. He is a very rare and wonderful person indeed.
But I think that is what most people who do things altruistically find. They find that a stream of unplanned benefits happen as a result of first thinking of others and helping them. But it takes development and the forming of habit to think of others first. I suggest developing it earlier rather than later, because "one morning you'll wake up with more life behind you than in front of you, not being able to understand how it happened!" (Fredrick Backman) And old habits (or non-habits) die hard!
Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of the week's best original content.It's
all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
When I feel at a disadvantage, many times I practice an exercise designed to turn my perceived disadvantages into advantages. It's all about perspective!
For instance, sometimes I get bummed out when I see all of the delicious food that my husband can eat and not gain any weight! If I ate like he did, I would be as wide as I am tall in no time! I am shorter, small-boned, and have a low BMR (basal metabolic rate). What advantages could I possibly see in being short, and not able to eat as much as my husband, since I do LOVE food and could easily eat as much as he does? Here are a some food benefits that I found I have, as a portion-limited, vertically-challenged, horizontally-inclined, way over 40 female: 1) I won't get bored with foods as easily, since I can't eat as much of them. I can spread them out over a longer period of time! 2) Food prep is more convenient for me Since my portions are smaller, I can spend less time in prepping my meals for work because I don't need as much! 3) It's so much cheaper for me to eat! 1500 calories vs. 2600 calories per day definitely adds up over time and an extra 1100 calories a day turns into big money quickly! 4) I have less likelihood of dental disease because with less food in my mouth, there is less exposure to bacteria-feeding foods and sugars.
5) What one meal at a restaurant is for other larger people, can be 2 - 3 meals for me, lots of yummy leftovers! 6) I will be more able to survive the apocalypse because my caloric
requirements to stay alive are much smaller than for someone with a 6"2 frame and a raging BMR. See what I did there? I can pull out some viable benefits from what formerly looked to be an extremely unfair situation. And I can do this with so many other scenarios that I run into. It does take a conscious effort to think about what advantages there are in what looks to be a horrible deal of the deck. But once you start looking at things this way, you will begin to start living your life differently and start taking the things that have been thrown your way and make them work for you. Everything can be used as a stepping stone if you can but look at it that way!
C.S. Lewis stated it this way, "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." I love that statement! Call it a disadvantage if you want to, but the way you deal with it will make all the difference!
Practice: Take a perceived mishap or disadvantage this week and list at least 4 ways where you see it could become a real advantage!
Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of the week's best original content.It's
all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
On my last "My Post Monday", I was pondering about how personality disorders and mental illnesses affect everyone involved. One of the most common of these is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It stems from an obsession with being perfect. It's so sad because it robs the victim of time, satisfaction, self-esteem, and happiness. Of course, it's great to be good at something. It's great to be excellent at something, and there are even times to be perfect at something. But my experience is that getting something done at all requires letting go of some things so the task can be completed.
Being chronically late is one symptom of OCD. One tries to get ready as perfectly as possible, it never seems to be achieved, and then comes the never-ending late arrival, or the arrival that never happens. I dealt with it as a kid, and now as an adult. Two different members of my family. Not myself, mind you, someone close to me. As a result, I am always late or going ahead because I don't want to be late. But I am affected by the symptom.
So often we are reaching for that perfect event, evening, dress,
dessert, party, or whatever it might be. When it falls short of our expectations,
we discount it as a failure! Is the picture above anything short of gorgeous?
I would go to a party held here. And especially this time of year! I'd be trying to take a peek out of that top window! Yet look at all of the "flaws!" Flaws are what make us unique,
gorgeous, and US! Celebrate difference and perceived imperfections!
We're all amazing!
Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of the week's best original content.It's
all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
Something that has been on my mind lately is the many personality disorders that one can end up having. There have been several that have affected me personally over the years. We have OCD, narcissism (which is more than posting lots of selfies on Instagram), Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar disorder, and many other dis-orders. All of them are deviations of what is considered to be a healthy, normal outlook on life and the coinciding behaviors. This is OCD Awareness Week, and I'm definitely aware of how much it affects the one who has the disorder as well as the ones living with the person. Not fun. But all of these disorders have to stem from somewhere and that's my quandary. Where do they come from? What causes the disorder in the first place? Are they hereditary, learned, or randomly affecting different individuals with no connection to either genes or environment?
I do believe that childhood is the most prolific learning period in our individual human development. And it is paramount that a child receives the proper modeling, care, nurturing, and everything else to ensure that they have as healthy a mind as they do body.
I've often stated that we are all on the spectrum of different mental illnesses and/or deficiencies. I know that I am probably undiagnosed but register on the spectrum with several stress-related conditions, as well as other disorders. But I can only try and manage my symptoms. I choose to do that with natural methods. Heaven help me if I decided to go on opiates or other self medicating rituals. I have an addictive personality, as evidenced by my 'Design Home' addiction! (Shoutout to all my 'Design Homies!)
In honor of OCD week, I want to find out a little bit more about different mental disorders and how I might better understand them and those who struggle with them! May you have a mentally unencumbered week! Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of the week's best original content.It's
all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
This morning my husband greeted me with the horrible news of the Las Vegas massacre. I couldn't believe that yet another earth-shaking tragedy has occurred and this is one that no one can blame on global warming. By recent accounts, the perpetrator was seen as an ordinary guy, with a
few excusable vices, like gambling. What made his mind snap after his
gambling binge in Vegas? Or was it simply a cold, calculated, murderous rampage, with his own demise signaling the end of the horror? I couldn't help but cry as I saw the videos of helpless people not knowing what to do and frozen in fear as they were systematically being gunned down by this lunatic. So many of them were heroes and even gave their lives while protecting others.
There has been an upswing in unbelievable kinds of tragedies in the last year alone. What on earth is going on? I guess the best thing anyone can do is be prepared. Prepared for what though? If you don't know exactly what is going to transpire at anytime or anyplace. what do you prepare for? The best thing I can prepare is my state of mind. I need to prepare my mind to realize that I might not be around as long as I might think or, if I am, the possibility of not around in the way I thought I would be.
What are the things I would like to leave behind? For one thing, I feel like I need to perform more service. I don't want my world to be limited by what I see behind my screen. I need to look around at the people in my own neighborhood and city, and try to make a difference there. I'd like to make a renewed effort to be of more service wherever I can. My feeble attempts at donations and prayers are fine, but there are opportunities right where I am! I may not change the world, but I may change my own life and make it better by making others' lives better.
Image - Nate Burnett
And why would I do something like that? Because I don't believe that this life is a dead-end. I don't believe that once you are dead, that is it. I believe life goes on and I don't believe that the evolution of man means that my own life's evolution is done with the end of my life. I believe in the human spirit. I believe in accountability to a higher power. And I believe that my service to my fellow beings is also simultaneously in the service of my God. It does take work and it does take intention. And these tragic events are making me more intentional with what I want to do. These tragedies are changing people. They are either making them more hateful and vindictive or they are making them more determined to do good and be prepared. I know which one I intend to be. One of these days, the world will be governed by one entity. And that entity will be love! The best thing I can do now, even in the face of evil and tragedy is practice, practice, practice. Practice doing good, for love will win in the end!
Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of the week's best original content.It's
all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
This past Saturday we cancelled our camping/hiking plans for Labor Day Weekend to attend the funeral of our former neighbors' son. I knew that if we didn't go, we would regret it because they had been such good neighbors and friends. We had lots of shared experiences and fun times to look back on and we wanted to offer our support at this difficult time. The funeral was a reunion of sorts because it had been a few years since we had been back to the neighborhood to visit. It was so good to see everyone and we were SO glad we went. As we saw friend after friend, it made me think about why they had become friends in the first place. I think it was because, in some way or another, we had shared something with them of ourselves, and they had done the same in return. It was things like meeting in conversation and finding ourselves of like mind in various topics, and sharing things of interest about our families. It went beyond social media outreach. Many of them had attended events with us and we had supported them in one way or the other. Nothing of monetary value had been exchanged, unless it was to support a common interest, such as a club or team.
After the funeral, we vowed we wouldn't stay strangers for so long this time and went on our way. It occurred to me that this is the secret to having and keeping friends--shared experiences! And many people know this so much better than I do. Give people an excuse to have a gathering and it's done! Throw in an opportunity to volunteer time for a greater good and it becomes an even more powerful medium for friendships to form. Another way to form friendships or allegiances is to actually buy them. I can't help but think of the free phones that were given out during the 2012 election. A 2nd grader I ran across last week actually still has one and uses it during recess! What about lobbyists and the huge Super PACS that have turned elections into money-driven moneliths, with billions spent during election years. It may be an effective way to get support for today, but when the money dries up, will the support continue or is it just fair weather friends after all? It seems that an ancient English historian named Thomas Fuller, born in the early 1600's, thought as much. He believed that bought friendship won't last long at all. When the gifts stop coming, the friendship stops as well. I've never really thought about that in those terms. Does it mean that if I give someone--someone I view as a friend--a gift, suddenly the friendship is doomed? I don't think so, but if all the friendship is based on is money, then yes, it's not based on authenticity and thus, destined to fail. But maybe my reasoning is faulty. Maybe there are many instances where at first the relationship is veritably based on monetary advantage but later turns into more. I'd love to get some examples to prove that such things can exist! So if you do have a story for me, please let me hear about it either way! In the meantime:
Today is "My Post Monday!"It's
all about original content from bloggers who care
to share what is on their minds--from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
Posts
