This past Saturday we cancelled our camping/hiking plans for Labor Day Weekend to attend the funeral of our former neighbors' son. I knew that if we didn't go, we would regret it because they had been such good neighbors and friends. We had lots of shared experiences and fun times to look back on and we wanted to offer our support at this difficult time.
The funeral was a reunion of sorts because it had been a few years since we had been back to the neighborhood to visit. It was so good to see everyone and we were SO glad we went.
As we saw friend after friend, it made me think about why they had become friends in the first place. I think it was because, in some way or another, we had shared something with them of ourselves, and they had done the same in return. It was things like meeting in conversation and finding ourselves of like mind in various topics, and sharing things of interest about our families. It went beyond social media outreach. Many of them had attended events with us and we had supported them in one way or the other. Nothing of monetary value had been exchanged, unless it was to support a common interest, such as a club or team.
After the funeral, we vowed we wouldn't stay strangers for so long this time and went on our way. It occurred to me that this is the secret to having and keeping friends--shared experiences! And many people know this so much better than I do. Give people an excuse to have a gathering and it's done! Throw in an opportunity to volunteer time for a greater good and it becomes an even more powerful medium for friendships to form.
Another way to form friendships or allegiances is to actually buy them. I can't help but think of the free phones that were given out during the 2012 election. A 2nd grader I ran across last week actually still has one and uses it during recess! What about lobbyists and the huge Super PACS that have turned elections into money-driven moneliths, with billions spent during election years. It may be an effective way to get support for today, but when the money dries up, will the support continue or is it just fair weather friends after all?
It seems that an ancient English historian named Thomas Fuller, born in the early 1600's, thought as much. He believed that bought friendship won't last long at all. When the gifts stop coming, the friendship stops as well. I've never really thought about that in those terms. Does it mean that if I give someone--someone I view as a friend--a gift, suddenly the friendship is doomed? I don't think so, but if all the friendship is based on is money, then yes, it's not based on authenticity and thus, destined to fail. But maybe my reasoning is faulty. Maybe there are many instances where at first the relationship is veritably based on monetary advantage but later turns into more. I'd love to get some examples to prove that such things can exist! So if you do have a story for me, please let me hear about it either way! In the meantime:
Today is "My Post Monday!" It's
all about original content from bloggers who care
to share what is on their minds--from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)
I was reading the paper the other day, something I occasionally do since they provide our school free daily newspapers, and I ran across an article about friendship. It caught my eye because I have recently been thinking about the friends that I have and evaluating what kind of friend I have been over the years. I am sad to say that some friendships that I should have nurtured and kept up with, I let go. I moved out of an area I'd lived in for 10+ years, right about the time when I should have been nurturing friendships that would last over my lifetime. According to the article I read, studies show that the 20's are the time to define what you want in a friendship and draw in many different friends. The 30's are when you start to narrow down your circle of close friends and start to build even more on what you've begun in your 20's. The 40's and 50's are when you enjoy the fruits of your building years and are happy and enriched with your circle of friends. Studies show that when you have a good group of close friends your overall health is much better than those who don't have close friends. Couples also benefit from having friends to socialize with.
I am more motivated than ever to start concentrating on becoming the best friend that I can be in the hopes that when I need the mental stimulation of a good conversation, the companionship of a lunch date, the enjoyment of a funny movie or the comfort of an arm around my shoulders, I will have my good friends to rely on! So don't be surprised if you get my text or call saying, "Hey, wanna do lunch?"
Today
is Motivating Monday! We all need a little motivation! I, for one,
love to
explore other sites for motivating, mostly non-sponsored posts, tips,
pictures and videos! If
I happen to find a great one, I'll link it up and share it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MotivatingMonday hashtag! It's like
being featured! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to! So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize! Don't be shy--I'm really very
supportive! Remember, any link to your posts helps your blog numbers
increase!
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