When the notion of labeling people by their social tendencies of either loving to be around people or avoiding them like the plague became a hot topic, I started to analyze some of my own tendencies. Was I an introvert or an extrovert? It's not that I don't like people, but when I'm dealing with my seasonal depression, I don't naturally tend to like being around people. It's exhausting. Ask my husband, if I'm really overwhelmed, all I want is to be alone and try and recover in my own way. On
the other hand, when I'm not depressed (usually in the warm weather,
post daylight savings time) I love to get out and be with people. As a
result I captioned the phrase "reclusive extrovert" to describe myself.
My husband is the total opposite of me. He always craves social interaction and will strike up conversations with complete strangers just for the sake of socializing and finding common ground. Once I got a sunburn on top of a peak we had hiked together because he wanted to converse with another couple who had summited at the same time. The sun was blazing, I had left my sunscreen below to lighten my load when making summit, and there we were for 45 minutes blissfully, in his mind, talking to like-minded individuals, when all I wanted to do was get the heck off the peak and get some sunscreen!
I do realize how important it is to be people-oriented. It is so essential to love people and to find real connections and learn from their experiences and, in turn, share yours. There are many more similarities than differences among people. You just need to find them. And that takes discussion and time. I think one of the reasons why travel is so invigorating for lots of people are the possible connections one can make with people who may have different life experiences and customs. Maybe they don't even speak the same language! But given the chance, what amazing things can you learn from someone like that?
One of the best ways I've seen to meet awesome new people is to volunteer! I did that recently when I volunteered for a project serving children in need. We got together and were given assignments. I sat at a table where we were making quilts. I didn't know anyone at the table, but by the end of the project, I had made 2 new and fascinating friends and we had so much in common! It was one of the most fun days ever!
I highly recommend going out of your comfort zone once in awhile and meeting new people. It's an awesome, life-enriching experience!
Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of my picks of the week's best original content. It's
all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to
Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain! I
open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the
week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks,
believes, and
knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If
I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up
and share
it with you
here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag! I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!
So, in addition,
if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too! I'll visit your
site, comment, promote and publicize(Affiliate links welcome)
Recently we went out to dinner and a movie, or should I say pizza and a movie, with some friends and something that we said about taking care of my dad triggered our friend into a story about how her sister has taken over her father's trust and estate and is spending it down like it's her own, even though there are 3 other siblings who are wondering what the heck she is doing. Apparently, when her father was at his least competent, shortly before he died, she went in and had him sign over the whole thing to her and then went to an attorney to make it legal. It has been such a heartbreak because the sister is being reckless and disposing of keepsakes and other valuables without any of the rest of the family's permission. Just to be able to have something that belonged to their parents, the family has to buy it from their sister at an exorbitant price. It's crazy that families can be like that.
So,
how concerned are you about property or money settlement issues within
your extended family? I know it can be a sore spot. When a parent or
relative gives out holdings in an unfair way or in a way that people
don't agree with, tensions within families can mount. But is it worth disenfranchising your own family, or worse? If it comes right down to it, I'd rather just let them have the
heirloom china and wish them good luck with it. You can't take it with
you anyway!
But that is exactly what happens sometimes. I heard of a story that happened several years ago in Louisa, VA.
A man shot and killed his own son and nephew in an ongoing dispute over
a piece of property, not to mention the 4 others that were wounded in
the fray. Then police shot and killed him after he fired on two
deputies and released his pit bull on them. Apparently, this 1.5 acres
was a real hot commodity among family members. Police were called on
multiple occasions to settle disputes amongst the clan. But it never
got violent until that point.
Well, sir, I hope you are happy. You're
dead, your son is dead, your nephew is dead, making for a fun-filled party on the other side! And who gets the 1.5 acres? I guess
whoever was left alive! I hope the remaining relatives will be a little
more wise. Wow! I used to live in Virgina. I'd have to say you might
be a redneck if... you bring out the .22 caliber when your limited
vocabulary of "Thisheer is ma land...ain't no one else's!" fails to bring
about a unanimous agreement!
May I suggest a few ways to insure a peaceful estate settlement when the time arrives?
1.
Only involve the individuals who are named in the will or trust. The
fewer outsiders and outside opinions, the better! Spouses and children
who are not directly a part of the settlement don't need to be involved.
2.
Start the conversation! Many times it is awkward to even mention that
someone won't be around forever. Many times people are afraid that they
will sound greedy when talking about estate affairs. A possible good
start to this conversation might be: "Mom, Dad, I know you love
us. You have taught us how to be thoughtful, caring people, by example.
I am reasonably certain that you want us to care for you in your old
age and for each other when you are gone. You could do a lot to keep
the spirit of our family alive and healthy after you are gone by
talking to us now. You could make it immensely easier on all of us by
giving us some information about your wishes and plans. This is not about money. It is about relationships and trust and responsibility.”
3. Establish trust between family members -
Family history and child rearing methods of prior generations can
foster distrust between siblings. Competition among siblings is common.
Although it might not be the easiest time, it is a crucial time to
build trust among family members. Do so with open dialogue and
transparency of intent. Now is not the time to have hidden agendas.
4. Learn as much as possible - Usually
there is one primary executor but if the work is shared, not only is it
easier on the executor, the beneficiaries will also have a better
understanding of what is involved and have a greater stake in the best
resolution for the whole family.
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