Monday, February 22, 2016

Learning From Yesterdays + #MyPostMonday Link-Up

When I think back to my childhood, I can't say that it was fraught with hardships. It wasn't....not really. My mom wasn't well, though. She had a childhood disease that left her unable to handle any kind of stress without totally losing it, starting with tremors. Combine that with her OCD-like perfectionism and the fact that I was the eldest child, the most precocious of the lot of 4, and let's just say she won and I lost. Many times. My dad was gone most of the time. We lived with my grandmother and sometimes I could rely on her to deflect my mom when she went off the reservation. Those times were really traumatic for me because she was mean to me, as she stated in later years. I was left confused, sad, and felt like I was a terrible child for making my mom get so upset that she would completely lose it. After the episodes, she would inevitably come and apologize and I would collapse, sobbing, as she hugged me. I just wanted her to love me.
Other than that, I remember some really great times. Especially when my dad was involved. Summers on my cousins' ranch in Montana, trips to buffet restaurants, riding bikes to the local swimming pool, playing on my girls softball team, playing in piano recitals, violin recitals, and doing dance recitals. 
But I just couldn't handle my junior high years. I would ditch school like my life depended on it. I flunked out of at least 1 full year of Jr. High, starting in the middle of 7th grade and continuing into my 8th grade year. Finally my mom sent me to Lodi Academy, a private school, where I developed my love of music. I couldn't very well ditch school because Lodi was not the town where I lived. I couldn't just leave campus and go hide out at the local library, or go to my piano teacher's house and ask her to let me hang out there, or sneak into my bedroom and hide under my bed while my mom was home in another area of the house. 

It was there that I learned that I could function at school, learn new things, and that I was an awesome person. It was there that I learned to sing in a choir. We actually did a full performance of the 'Messiah', which I love to this day. So, in the end, it was my mom who saved me by sending me to this wonderful private school, run by Seventh-Day Adventists. She sacrificed money that should have been spent on my other siblings, who didn't go to private school. She felt partially to blame for my insecurities, I suppose. Finally, after two years, I decided on my own that I was ready to go to a public high school and said my good-byes to Lodi. My mom and I became very close over the years. She's gone now, her heart was damaged from that early illness, and she left us too soon. I remember all the good she did and her determination to see her children do well and be good people. I think she succeeded in that goal.

I learned a lot from those days. I learned that people aren't perfect but it doesn't mean you can't forgive them and love them anyway. I learned that sometimes we need a chance to heal and it can mean doing hard things that we don't necessarily want to do. I hope that you can look at your yesterdays and learn something from them too!

Image - Robert Vosper
Today is "My Post Monday!" It's all about original content from bloggers who care to share what is on their minds--from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain!  I  open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks, believes, and knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up and share it with you here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag!  I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!  So, in addition, if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too!  I'll visit your site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)

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