Saturday, April 18, 2015

O Is For Overwhelmed #AToZChallenge

Today I am posting late because I have been overwhelmed with work, life, family, and menial housework. Thank goodness it's the weekend! But that brings into play something that has crossed my mind lately. How do moms do it? I mean, seriously? 

It's been awhile since I have had little ones hovering around me, waiting for me to get out of the shower, and playing with pots and pans in my kitchen. I miss it so much, but more and more, I find that I'm OK with not having to interact with little ones on a daily basis. Frankly, I don't think I have the energy! I'm not anticipating on being a grandma anytime soon, so I truly have some time off.

Today I went to the movies with my sister and her 3 boys to see the new movie 'Home' by Dreamworks. Very good, by the way! It has Rhianna and Jennifer Lopez in it! Before we got in the theater we had some drama and some loud noise and some hitting others in the car. It kind of stressed me out, but my poor sister was mortified. She did well and kept her cool but wow, I wondered how she does it day in and day out. I'm sure it is her love of her kids that keeps her and most moms going!

I was also talking to my friend at work, who is both a full-time teacher and a mom of a toddler. When the baby was born, she took the allotted time off and came back when she was still breastfeeding her son. She would come to school and teach, and during lunch and some of her prep time, she would pump. She found it was so overwhelmingly difficult to do this, the hardest thing she's ever done. But she did it, knowing that if she could get through it, things would eventually calm down and she could always say that she did the best she could possibly do for her son, while working. I give her all the props in the world to have done this. One thing she did say is that she had to sacrifice some things. She wanted to be, first and foremost, a great mom. But she had to sacrifice being a great teacher. She had to be satisfied with being an OK teacher.  I think that is the key to surviving during overwhelming times. She is now back to being an excellent teacher, and a great mom!

We are only physically capable of doing so much. There are only so many hours in the day and only so many units of energy that we can put out. After that, we have to concede that the wall is looming and that we will hit it.

Something that you can do if you're feeling the pressures of motherhood is to realize that these difficult stages, such as the one my sister is going through and the double duty my friend had to go through, are only temporary. They might last only a few months or as long as a year or in extreme cases two, but usually these stages will pass. Take some time to laugh and find the humor in it. If you can hold on, you'll look back and wonder how in the heck you did it! And you will feel happiness and contentment that you persevered! You will be a super mom!

Whoever said that you should enjoy every minute of motherhood was probably not a mom to my kids! I didn't enjoy all of the aspects of being a mom. But I loved many parts of it and still do! Don't feel bad that some of the stages aren't enjoyable for you. Just live through it as gracefully and responsibly as you can. Know that it WILL get better. Some moms love the routine more than others, some moms have been given less temperamental children than others, some moms are more naturally given to being maternal than others. We shouldn't judge each other because each of our circumstances is different!

Be on the lookout for those special moments--that special hug, the words that come out of a child's mouth that can be so insightful, funny or just cute, the antics that enchant you and give you glimpses of a special ability or talent. These are what makes motherhood so special. Don't miss them because you are too bogged down by the routine.

So you're overwhelmed today. Don't be too hard on yourself and live through today, the next day and the next day, being kind to yourself and to your children. You may not be perfect at everything, but you're wonderful at loving your kids!

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