Showing posts with label Dealing With Stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dealing With Stress. Show all posts

Monday, October 15, 2018

Fear Of Failure Causes Anxiety + #MyPostMonday The Week's Best Original Content

This past September was National Suicide Prevention Month. I, like too many others, have had personal experiences where suicide has touched me personally, or has been way too close for comfort. 

But I've had far more experiences where, although no suicide was involved, the impact of stress and anxiety have affected lives and could easily have ended in suicide. These are stories about teen anxiety that need to be told in the hopes that we can start to recognize and prevent what could happen later on.

In my 9 years of working within the school system, I have been close enough to teens to see what motivates them. I have followed some of their lives and have somewhat of a sense of what can make a teen feel pressure, anxiety, worry, and the need to fight or take flight! I will be sharing one story now and more later about some things that definitely make a teenager anxious and feel stress. Maybe if we can recognize some of these situations, we can be of help!


Fear Of Failure
I knew A. when she came to our unit fresh from a detention center.  She was smart, but had decided that school was not the way she would be successful....

Something that filled her with anxiety and dread was math. At some point along the way, someone or something had convinced her that she couldn't understand or do it. At all. In anticipation of math, she would begin to hyperventilate and would start to panic. The only way she could get through a math lesson was if she had someone right there helping her through ALL the problems, which doesn't happen often in a busy classroom. More often than not she would refuse to work, throw her materials, and leave the room with angry words hurled at whoever happened to be around. Gradually, she was able to get help and encouragement. She learned to retain some of the things she was being taught and she became more confident, thus feeling less stress when she was asked to do math problems on the board or at her desk. She got the assistance she needed that year because she made it crystal clear about how she felt about math and, luckily, there was someone available who was willing to work with her. 

Not all kids are able to verbalize their fear and trepidation when they run into academic hurdles. Sometimes they will take the fail, rather than turn attention on themselves and their problems. Unlike A. they are not squeaky wheels that will get the grease!
 Today is "My Post Monday!", a curation of the week's best original content. It's all about posts from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain!  I  open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks, believes, and knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up and share it with you here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag!  I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!  So, in addition, if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too!  I'll visit your site, comment, promote and publicize(Affiliate links welcome)   


Monday, August 14, 2017

Today's Complexities + #MyPostMonday The Week's Best Original Content

Today wraps up a mystery that has been in our minds here in Utah. On July 27th, a man went missing. He was a husband, a new father, and a son. What was interesting and notable about this was that his disappearance was surrounded by thousands of interested spectators and commentators. People came out of the woodwork to give their opinions as to why he was missing, what the family's role in his disappearance was, and who was to blame for his disappearance. As it so happened, the wife of this man happens to be a well-known blogger named Ashlee.
Well, the hate and rhetoric that was spewed out during the 18 day ordeal before they found him yesterday was...well, it was pretty unprecedented, calling her a phony, a fraud, and calling out false sightings of him with another girl, and everything imaginable. 

No, he wasn't perfect, no one is, and they had been through some really tough times during their marriage, including infertility and some other things that Ashlee had alluded to in at least one post, possibly two. But her strength and vulnerability were both bravely shared with any who wanted to follow along. She was authentic and a role model for those of us who wanted to use her as such. After all, in this world of Facebook and Instagram perfection, it was a little disconcerting to see someone's authenticity exposed so freely. Yet there it was. 

And when he disappeared, there were so many supporters and the haters, of course, wanted to tag along too. The story is still new, knowing only that his body was found in bad condition, floating in Mill Creek, found by employees of a business in the area.  We will probably never know what caused his death, now only suspected as suicide. What combination of events made him lose it? Or was it one single thing that he couldn't shake? 

Life today is so complex and sometimes it can really throw you. It necessitates being able to step back, and simplify the world as you know it, and prioritize what is most important and stick to it! 
My thoughts and prayers go out to Ashley and Paul, their love, family, and their new baby girl who will never have a chance to know her daddy except through others' memories. As I reflect on this tragedy and try to learn something from it, I will again refocus my own priorities and concentrate on simplifying my life. I won't feel guilty about it either. If my summer consists of staycations all summer long, I will feel happy because staying home is something I love. If I don't craft up my home on any given holiday, I will feel gratitude that I have eyes to admire the creations of others who have been able to do so. If I am not known as the one who reaches out to every single person I know in every social situation, then I will appreciate them in my thoughts and love them from afar and will do as much as I can, when I can. And I will keep those who matter close, oh so close!
 Today is "My Post Monday!" It's all about original content from bloggers who care to share what is on their minds--from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain!  I  open up with a post of my own and then follow it up with a linky of the week's top original blog posts! It's all about what the writer thinks, believes, and knows--in other words, they are active, writing blogs. If I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up and share it with you here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag!  I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!  So, in addition, if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too!  I'll visit your site, comment, promote and publicize! (Affiliate links welcome!)  

Saturday, April 18, 2015

O Is For Overwhelmed #AToZChallenge


Today I am posting late because I have been overwhelmed with work, life, family, and menial housework. Thank goodness it's the weekend! But that brings into play something that has crossed my mind lately. How do moms do it? I mean, seriously? 

It's been awhile since I have had little ones hovering around me, waiting for me to get out of the shower, and playing with pots and pans in my kitchen. I miss it so much, but more and more, I find that I'm OK with not having to interact with little ones on a daily basis. Frankly, I don't think I have the energy! I'm not anticipating on being a grandma anytime soon, so I truly have some time off.

Today I went to the movies with my sister and her 3 boys to see the new movie 'Home' by Dreamworks. Very good, by the way! It has Rhianna and Jennifer Lopez in it! Before we got in the theater we had some drama and some loud noise and some hitting others in the car. It kind of stressed me out, but my poor sister was mortified. She did well and kept her cool but wow, I wondered how she does it day in and day out. I'm sure it is her love of her kids that keeps her and most moms going!

I was also talking to my friend at work, who is both a full-time teacher and a mom of a toddler. When the baby was born, she took the allotted time off and came back when she was still breastfeeding her son. She would come to school and teach, and during lunch and some of her prep time, she would pump. She found it was so overwhelmingly difficult to do this, the hardest thing she's ever done. But she did it, knowing that if she could get through it, things would eventually calm down and she could always say that she did the best she could possibly do for her son, while working. I give her all the props in the world to have done this. One thing she did say is that she had to sacrifice some things. She wanted to be, first and foremost, a great mom. But she had to sacrifice being a great teacher. She had to be satisfied with being an OK teacher.  I think that is the key to surviving during overwhelming times. She is now back to being an excellent teacher, and a great mom!

We are only physically capable of doing so much. There are only so many hours in the day and only so many units of energy that we can put out. After that, we have to concede that the wall is looming and that we will hit it.

Something that you can do if you're feeling the pressures of motherhood is to realize that these difficult stages, such as the one my sister is going through and the double duty my friend had to go through, are only temporary. They might last only a few months or as long as a year or in extreme cases two, but usually these stages will pass. Take some time to laugh and find the humor in it. If you can hold on, you'll look back and wonder how in the heck you did it! And you will feel happiness and contentment that you persevered! You will be a super mom!

Whoever said that you should enjoy every minute of motherhood was probably not a mom to my kids! I didn't enjoy all of the aspects of being a mom. But I loved many parts of it and still do! Don't feel bad that some of the stages aren't enjoyable for you. Just live through it as gracefully and responsibly as you can. Know that it WILL get better. Some moms love the routine more than others, some moms have been given less temperamental children than others, some moms are more naturally given to being maternal than others. We shouldn't judge each other because each of our circumstances is different!

Be on the lookout for those special moments--that special hug, the words that come out of a child's mouth that can be so insightful, funny or just cute, the antics that enchant you and give you glimpses of a special ability or talent. These are what makes motherhood so special. Don't miss them because you are too bogged down by the routine.

So you're overwhelmed today. Don't be too hard on yourself and live through today, the next day and the next day, being kind to yourself and to your children. You may not be perfect at everything, but you're wonderful at loving your kids!