"There they go, they're at it again....", I say to myself, as I try to intervene before too much damage is done. The two pre-teen boys in our classroom start to tussle violently, one of them receiving a solid punch in the face and withdraws, whimpering and defeated. He lays his head on his desk for an hour.
It happens so often that I can count on an incident every day with them. The difference with these two fighting and any other similar fight between non-related boys, is that with these two, everything seems to be forgotten within hours.
The next thing I see is that they are laughing together at some private joke they have between themselves, that no one else will ever understand because it's the language of identical twins!
When one of them leaves the room for any prolonged amount of time and the remaining one doesn't know where the other one went, he becomes agitated and tries to leave the room to search for his brother.
When one of them isn't able to get prizes from a rewards program because of his own negligence, the other one will step in and give his own prize to his left-out brother.
These boys haven't come from an abundant lifestyle, from what I can gather. They split time between their parents because of divorce, they don't have a lot in the way of clothing or extra "stuff". And of course they are in our classroom because of some kind of learning disability. But they seem happier than most of the other kids, and their peals of laughter, mostly at inappropriate times, gladdens my heart for them.
It has been really interesting and an education for me to be able to observe these 6th graders for as many hours as I do each day, in such close proximity. But despite the total closeness and kindred spirit type of bonding they enjoy, they do have definite differences. Some of them quite striking.
They look so much alike that I'm sure early on the parents decided to let one of them have long hair while the other one wears his hair close to the head. It really helps to quickly identify them at school. Without that helpful hack, it would have been near impossible at the first of the year to tell them apart.
I have learned to tell them apart and have noted a couple of significant differences! I have learned that one of them (Twin A) is more able to talk and be social with grown-ups. I like to talk to him because he is so interested in things and seems to have a genuine thirst for new information. At the same time he is more spontaneous than his brother. One day, I had about 10 of the students outside during a nice fall day for about 20 minutes. It was going just great....until Twin A suddenly pulled another boys pants down. The thing is, the other kid wasn't wearing any underwear! It was not cool at all! The rest of the day was spent sorting out what everyone did and didn't see, who might have been traumatized and would anyone be suspended? An incident like that requires a whole lotta paperwork. Yet. This is the one who, when given a reward like a bag of chips or candy, will go without so he can give it to his brother, after a fight in which he was trounced by said brother.
Twin B is a little bit different. He is very oblivious to adults and being social with them or even listening to the smallest direction. He pretty much does his own thing. And although he may be just a tiny bit more advanced than Twin A, he doesn't use it to his advantage. The only thing he wants to do that I can see is flaunt his slight edge over his brother. He always has his brother in tears because he is constantly rubbing his brother's nose in it. He isn't too concerned with trying to earn rewards for good behavior. He knows his brother will come through for him. And he is definitely more dominant in his relationships with girls. He easily has the attention of the only girl in our class over any of the other 13 boys, including his brother. But he manages to stay within the bounds of middle school propriety and has stayed out of serious trouble. He is part of the whole and I celebrate when I see him being kind to his twin!
About the part where they get into some serious tussles: I came across this opinion from an MMA fighter concerning fighting between boys during their adolescent years. I'm not completely sure how I feel about it yet:
6 comments:
I don't know any twins well enough to know if they have similarities beyond looks.
I know a couple sets of twins. They are so much fun to watch. In most ways they are polar opposites of each other. Yet the way they interact is seamless and you can tell they share something special.
My cousin had twins unfortunately one passed away and never got to even leave the hospital
@Monica McConnell That is really sad. I know it would have been wonderful to have a twin to grow up with.
I've been teaching 6th grade for 23 years and have taught many sets of twins (and a few triplets!) It's interesting to see the dynamics between any siblings, but especially twins. I think it's hilarious when they say, "It's a twin thing."
@Dianna HaHa! Even they know it's something special and unique!
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