Awareness of The Adult Bully Factor

Too many people believe 'bullying' is a concept only reserved for kids, or situations that happen in schools. What about 'bullying' for adults? Can adults actually become bullies? No way! After all, they are supposed to be mature, and set good examples for children! 

If it is indeed true, then what actually is an adult bully?

   Bullying incidents are events repeated over time. For many adults, this occurs at work, social events, or even at home, thus becoming habitual. Bullying involves a victim being distressed by an abuser. Whenever someone displays visual/verbal signs that they are feeling hurt, the bully continues to engage in this behavior because they derive a sense of satisfaction (power) from it.  They may continually upset someone at work with their comments, mannerisms, racial/sexist/religious jokes, or they know they can intimidate their victim.

          There is always an imbalance of power whereby one adult is more powerful than the other--this can occur physically, mentally/ intellectually, or emotionally. They may hold a greater position of power in the workplace, or their homes. There is an intent to harm by the bully. They knowingly and maliciously decide to attack another adult who is helpless and unable to defend them self. Usually attacks are premeditated, and can be either verbal or non-verbal in nature. 

 Too many adults are quick to dismiss "one event" as being an isolated incident, which may be the case. The problems begin when that one event is a precursor to subsequent bullying. When bullying and abuse are tolerated instead of a 'zero tolerance' mentality, the abuse will most likely escalate!

          I wonder how many parents/adults allow bullying to happen in the lives of children by proxy, believing it will just go away in their own lives? What are children to make of this, "Just ignore it and it will go away!" mindset?  Has this approach work for adults? Children observe and model how adults behave. I love to use the baseball analogy, 'today's catchers are tomorrow's pitchers' when it comes to bullying. What kids are mentally and physically taking in today, will be projected outwards tomorrow... BULLYING!

 

Peter Sacco is a recipient of the Award of Excellence in Teaching, lecturing at universities both in the US and Canada. A bestselling author, psychology professor and former private practitioner, Peter has also written over 700 articles in media/magazines as well as several book reviews for Prentice-Hall Publishing.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post by one of my special guest authors. I feature many different and talented guest authors on A GAL NEEDS...If you are interested in submitting an article, please contact me! 

Beautiful Earrings from #Novica

 If you read my blog, you know that I've been, and continue to be, a huge fan of Novica! I have done many reviews for them, from pottery to jewelry to sweaters. Their fair trade policy, and the way they run their company has been a benchmark for other similar companies to take lessons and also flourish.
Today I'm sharing some of their most beautiful earrings! I'm a fan of drop earrings because they can be seen easier, can be paired with studs, and are so flattering. These pieces are all made with authentic stones and sterling silver and would make great Valentine's Day gifts, or accessorize your wardrobe with one-of-a-kind pieces that have been handmade by artisans from all over the world! I love how each piece has its own name and comes with a story card telling about the artisan who made it, also certifying authenticity. These are conveniently available on Amazon so you can take advantage of Amazon's great shipping rates as well.

Maya Mint

Morning Rose

Owl Love

Sky Fantasy

Pale Green Tears

Frangipani Butterfly

This site accepts product samples and/or compensation. Affiliate links may be used to help support this site. All text and opinion are 100% my own and are not swayed by any sponsor affiliation.

The Hard Work--No Worry Approach + #MyPostMonday Link-Up

My grandmother was a self-ascribed worrier. When situations arose, it was she who was always fretting in the background about the possible negative outcomes that would arise. It was as if that was her contribution to the problem, devoting huge amounts of energy to worry. Love her heart, I know she felt helpless and she just couldn't let herself enjoy other things, because she was too worried. Apparently she wasn't aware of the positive thinking studies that exploded onto the scene in the early 2000's, especially with the book, The Secret. 
 According to the book, If I am, apparently, to enjoy life at its fullest, I am not to let my setbacks turn into worries and constantly think about them. Instead I am to spend time visualizing the most wildly positive outcome I can imagine and then the universe will materialize it for me, from the power of my conscious thought. I do like that idea!
In addition, I say, just do the best you can each day, make the things you do align with your value system as much as possible, but then let it go. 
Thinking about it that way is actually very freeing. No, I may not finish the job I wanted to do, on point and on time, but I know that I'm doing the best I can. If I'm secure in that knowledge, it's time to let it go and leave it until I can work on it some more or I decide that it is all I can do.
Allowing situations to overwhelm us can turn pressing situations into problems. Why? Because now we are letting that situation to take over a larger percentage of our life than it should. "The problem is not the problem; the problem is thinking you have a problem and allowing it to overwhelm you and spur you into overthinking." --Lolly Daskal
 Some may consider this type of approach as being "apathetic", but I believe it's a way of protecting your mental and even physical health, so you have the ability to give all you have to the ever-arising pressing situation. Don't worry, there are always plenty of situations to deal with in the moment that need all your energy. Don't waste it by worrying about things you can do nothing about!

Image by Krieg Rasmussen

 Now, on the other hand, you do need balance. I know someone who wouldn't worry if he was going to lose his clothing, home, family, and everything else tomorrow. It's all c'est la vie, baby! And he doesn't do much to avoid the consequences. Funny thing, however, he has always made it through and the one thing about him...he enjoys his leisure moments. He has chosen to make worry a very low priority in his life, no matter how little he accomplishes. 
I personally prefer the philosophy of working hard, doing the best you can and then letting it go! If you take the "hard work--no worry" approach, you can accomplish a lot, cut down on stress and have energy to devote to the unforeseen "situations" in life! 

Today is "My Post Monday!" It's all about original content from bloggers who care to share what is on their minds--from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain!  I, for one, love to explore other sites for original, non-sponsored posts, tips, pictures and videos! Sponsored posts are great and I appreciate the information from well-written and authentic sponsored posts, I write them myself! But this linky is for non-sponsored posts because they are all about what the writer thinks, believes, and knows. It's not about a specific brand and what it compensates the blogger to promote! If I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up and share it with you here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag!  It's like being featured!  I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!  So, in addition, if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too!  I'll visit your site, comment, promote and publicize! Remember, any link to your posts helps your blog numbers increase! (Affiliate links OK)   

Weight Loss Incentives After The Holidays

Everyone wants to get back down to that optimal weight now that the holidays are over, and the diet and weight loss companies know that. They are offering great deals right now to encourage you to try their weight loss plans! With that in mind, try checking out the companies that are most appealing to you for New Year's deals and steals! Here are 2 great deals from reputable weight loss companies to help you get to the weight you're hoping for!

Nutrisystem - Made popular by spokesperson, Marie Osmond, where they guarantee that you can lose 10 lbs. & 5 inches overall in your first month! Sign up to get a free shaker bottle and free tips and weight loss info. For a limited time, get 40% off every order + free shipping! Get the details here!



Daily Burn - An online resource full of diet tips, recipes, and workouts. Try it for 30 days free. I'd personally get it just for the workouts! Choose from yoga, Inferno, Move dance, and much more!
 
With these two programs, you could find yourself in a very good position to head into spring in better shape than you've been in awhile! Good luck! I know I will be looking into some of these great companies and making some strategies! 

This site accepts product samples and/or compensation. Affiliate links may be used to help support this site. All text and opinions are my own and are not swayed by any sponsor affiliation. 

Duck Feathers + #MyPostMonday Link-Up

I'll 'fess up. I feel jealousy and envy. Who hasn't? Even the people who supposedly "have it all" are just as prone to jealousy and envy as anyone else. What could I possibly feel envy about? Envy is about wanting something that someone else has. I could maybe (hypothetically) feel envy about bloggers who are more successful than me, women who are younger than me, women who have more children than me, people who have no children at all and have all kinds of leisure time, people who seem to have it together--more so than me, women who are in better shape than me, people who have nicer things than me, etc. etc. etc. 
Since jealousy is a bit different than envy, what might I feel jealousy about? Jealousy is more of an insecurity about losing something or someone. I could maybe feel (again, hypothetical) jealous of the girl that my husband seems to think is so very funny and entertaining at a social event,  jealous of those who might be invited to an event that I'm not included in, the new person that just got hired and has struck up a friendship with one of my best work friends but not so much with me, my dog who seems to love my husband more than me, my boys b/c they love each other more than they seem to love me, etc. You look at these things and think, wow, how time-consuming!

What is the problem with having these kinds of thoughts and emotions? It's just that these things crowd out any kind of gratitude for what one does have. Any feeling of satisfaction in your life circumstances is negated. These are negative feelings and they can actually become obsessions. They are energy sappers and goal minimizers. Yes, envy and jealousy can definitely spur one on to obtain objects and possessions. But to what end? If you can't conquer the tendency to be jealous or envious, do you suppose that obtaining the thing you were envious about will be the end of the road? Probably not! It will be on to the next conquest that you are now jealously obsessing about. 

Having recognized this awhile ago, I've learned to do some damage control whenever I realize that these tendencies are popping up into my subconscious. 

4 Ways to Deal With Conquering Jealousy And Envy:

1) Have a gratitude book. Make a specific journal or art book that only talks about things that you have in your life, which you are grateful for!

2) Don't obsess about it. Admit that you are feeling envy or jealousy and move on, and don't judge yourself for it. 

3) Prayer. Make it a point to pray about things you are having trouble with, and ask God for help to overcome the negative emotions. Don't stop until you can feel the feeling dissipate. I believe in the power of prayer and the only time I have seen prayer not work is when I haven't spent time praying!

4) Make the decision to not act on your feelings. Be the better person and let it roll off your back, like that wonderful analogy, "water off a duck's back."

Everyone feels negative feelings. It's what we do with them that counts! Let's take a new look at that mallard duck!

What are some other examples of envy and jealousy that you come across? What are some solutions you might have to overcome it?

Image - Karl Hiller

Today is My Post Monday! It's all about original content from bloggers who care to share what is on their minds--from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain!  I, for one, love to explore other sites for original, non-sponsored posts, tips, pictures and videos! Sponsored posts are great and I appreciate the information from well-written and authentic sponsored posts, I write them myself! But this linky is for non-sponsored posts because they are all about what the writer thinks, believes, and knows. It's not about a specific brand and what it compensates the blogger to promote! If I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up and share it with you here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag!  It's like being featured!  I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!  So, in addition, if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too!  I'll visit your site, comment, promote and publicize! Remember, any link to your posts helps your blog numbers increase! (Affiliate links OK) 

A Look Back And A Look Forward To 2016

Today has been so much fun! When I first started dabbling into review and giveaway blogging, it was 2010. I know, right? Ancient times! I didn't even know what I was doing, I took something I thought was crazy fun, and just started going!

I went back into time on the blog, intending to do some housekeeping and de-cluttering of the blog. I ended up deleting over 120 posts, but I still kept a lot! It was fun looking at all of the things that have changed since then. Back then, I not only hosted giveaways, I entered them--a lot of them. I posted about them and when I won, I was happy to let everyone know! I saved one of those posts because it shows just how much things have changed since then, including me!
I am happy to say that both the company that sponsored that giveaway, Stuck On You, and the blog, MNM Special, that hosted it are both still very much active and in business! I can't say that about everyone, however. Some of the companies that I worked with and thought would surely be around for years have since gone out of business. Some of the biggest bloggers in 2010, that I thought would be around forever and only continue to get bigger, are gone too. One of them actually committed suicide not long after I started. I almost quit after having learned that. But I pressed on and did my thing, learning and growing as I went! I'm someone who, if I find something that works, I'll stick with it. I haven't changed formats since 2010! When everyone else was heading to WordPress, I stayed on Blogger, and I've become real cozy with it. I'm still not sure if that was a mistake or not. 

2015 was a great year! I made a goal to have more original content and 20% more giveaways than in 2014. And on both those counts we made it! I actually did more original content than projected, with the advent of Motivating Monday, a round-up of the best original, non-sponsored posts that I find on the internet. 

2016 is looking great, too! I have some awesome things planned, with more original content, more giveaways, reviews and a new monthly DIY craft installment! Of course my love of fashion, food, and fun will always have to be a part of the mix as well! Stick with me and come along for the ride!  

This site accepts product samples and/or compensation. Affiliate links may be used to help support this site. All texts and opinions are 100% my own and are not swayed by any sponsor affiliation.

An Alpaca Wool Blend Sweater From Peru

One of my favorite gifts this holiday season was the package I received from Novica! I had chosen an off-white alpaca blend tunic. It would be perfect for the cold weather we always experience in December here in Utah! But would it arrive in time? I was a bit late ordering--on December 15th the order was finally placed. I decided I didn't want to risk it not arriving in time for Christmas so I paid a little extra for High Priority Mail, guaranteed to get to me before Christmas. It did, in fact, get to me very quickly. I received the package 4 days later, on December 19th. And what a beautiful package it was! The little Peruvian Lady on the bow was adorable!

Novica is a--if not the--premier fair trade company, meaning they enable artisans from all over the world to bring their crafts to us for fair prices. While doing that, Novica simultaneously enables international artisans to make a fair wage in order support their families and continue producing high quality art.  There are hundreds of individual artisans to choose from, thousands of items ready to be shipped to you, multiple countries represented, and categories aplenty. It just makes me feel good to know that I can, through my purchase, help someone in another country who needs my financial support to survive!  I, in turn, need the product that he/she produces! No one will be getting rich from my contribution, but authentic and true art will be living in my home, and on my person for a very long time to come!

As I was perusing the website, looking in particular for a nice wool or alpaca-blend poncho, the work of artisan Alfredo Falcon, from Peru caught my eye. He seems to have a gift for capturing western style yet retaining a distinctive Peruvian flair. I loved his other creations as well--capes, cloaks, hats, gloves, men's fashion, and more! With over 140 reviews of his work, one can see just how talented he is. Born in Lima, he learned the traditional weaving techniques from his parents, as did his parents before him, learning from their parents--a family entirely devoted to the art of textiles. But hard times made him flee Lima to the district of Huaycan, where many fled from terrorist attacks. Before working with Novica, his market was limited to a few small local shops and a single foreign client who purchased work from him from time to time. Since joining Novica, his popularity has increased dramatically and he has many clients that he works with. He states, however, that Novica will always be his "preferred customer."

Enjoying Holiday Celebrations with my Alpaca Wool Blend Sweater!

Although the weave is loose, it is still very warm and toasty!

When I saw the 'Charisma' Alpaca Wool Blend Pullover Sweater, I knew I wanted it! Over 45% alpaca, and 15% wool, it is so light and yet toasty warm! I wore it during the holiday celebrations and was very happy with it. The best part is that I will also be wearing it for the rest of the winter to work, and for casual dates as well! It works well for me and my lifestyle. In the meantime, I added several more items to my wishlist at Novica, including the "Illusions Of Blue' Poncho/Shawl!  

This site accepts product samples and/or compensation. Affiliate links may be used to help support this site. All text and opinion are 100% my own and are not swayed by any sponsor affiliation.

My Last #MotivatingMonday Installment

Christmas day was a day of vegging! I spent it doing what I love doing, but don't do as much as I'd like! I read 'Humans Of New York' from cover to cover, watched all my Christmas specials, ate truffles, homemade chicken noodle soup, cookies, and other decadent treats. I am 5 lbs. heavier because my metabolism isn't 21 anymore. It was incredibly cold, but we definitely had a white Christmas, it snowed all day! This blog hasn't seen me since last Monday and is in danger of not seeing me until spring! I never fail to get hibernation fever during Christmas Break. 

I've been prowling around looking at those awesome posts that are written from hearts and souls, not paid for by anyone other than the comments received from appreciative readers. I read about the woman, who one day while doing the dishes, hears the words she never thought she would hear from her husband. "I don't want to be married to you anymore." Why would she put that out there? Because she made it through! She left, started over, made it work, and is stronger because of it. Now she is a motivational speaker and organizes events to help others cope with hard times! She definitely has the right to operate in that capacity. She's been there!

Image by Nan B

If you haven't gone through hard times, trust me, it will happen. Hopefully, you'll go through them and it will make you stronger. Don't think that you'll go through them alone. There will be people watching you all the way through. Some will help you get through it. Although present, some won't be able to do anything but observe. They will see how you handle those obstacles. Then when they go through tough times themselves, they will remember you and how you handled it. You'll be their inspiration. It means they can overcome tough times too!  

 Today is Motivating Monday!  This will be the last Motivating Monday installment. From now on, these posts will be called  My Post Monday!!  It's all about original content from bloggers who care to share what is on their minds--from Crafts to Camping, Wellness to Wealth, Fashion to Food, and whatever else is on the brain!  I, for one, love to explore other sites for original, non-sponsored posts, tips, pictures and videos! Sponsored posts are great and I appreciate the information from well-written and authentic sponsored posts, I write them myself! But this linky is for non-sponsored posts because they are all about what the writer thinks, believes, and knows. It's not about a specific brand and what it compensates the blogger to promote! If I happen to find a great original, non-sponsored post, I'll link it up and share it with you here and on Twitter via the #MyPostMonday hashtag!  It's like being featured!  I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!  So, in addition, if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too!  I'll visit your site, comment, promote and publicize! Remember, any link to your posts helps your blog numbers increase! (Affiliate links OK) 

Lessons And Blessings + #MotivatingMonday Link-Up

Have you ever wished that you had never met someone? Has that person wrecked havoc on your life and your heart and soul? Consider what Mother Teresa said: 

Not much to rant on today, as it is getting crazy up in here. Just this small story: I thought a person I know was one of those people who was to be a  "lesson" in my life. Marvin (name changed to protect identity) is a part of my work day. He is a flambuoyant kind of guy, dresses well, everyone likes him, but he is also rather snobby, or so I thought. I found him to be almost like an informant, as well. I could swear to this day he was the one who ratted me out when I had a copy of the building key, something that came into my possession because I had done a friend a favor by giving my original to her when she was essentially fired. If she couldn't come up with an original, it would have been a mess. So I traded her. I mentioned that I had a copy key and probably wouldn't hand it in because again, it would create a mess. There were 4 people that heard it. One day I got called into the office and was asked about having a copied key. I 'fessed up, but was so upset that there was a mole who had taken my information and ratted me out. Because of Marvin's tendency to mention things that people would rather not have mentioned to administration, I had to believe it was him. (He's also very well-loved by the administration, as one might imagine!)

He ended up in my work area and it was not the greatest thing that ever happened to me. But I endured it and made the best of it. Then something funny happened. We started getting along really well. He made me laugh and smile at the funny things he did. It seemed like his honest, forthright questions had a way of exposing some of my inner feelings--feelings that I preferred to keep hidden. Plus, in certain situations, he actually backed me up instead of going in a more self-serving direction. He has witnessed me cry on several occasions, which I feel is not coincidental. He has an ability to get directly to the core of your feelings. It's not like we are best buddies or anything, but I've appreciated his occasional questions of interest and concern about my life. Before Christmas Break we had a school staff Christmas Party. It was a sit-down luncheon at a local 'Spaghetti Factory' and it was really fun! Before I left, he made sure to find me, give me a hug, and wish me a Merry Christmas. It really made my day and I now have to say that this person has turned into a blessing in my life! 
Who are some people that have been surprise blessings in your life?

 Today is Motivating Monday!  We all need a little motivation!  I, for one, love to explore other sites for motivating, non-sponsored posts, tips, pictures and videos! Sponsored posts are great and I appreciate the information from well-written and authentic sponsored posts, I write them myself, but this linky is for non-sponsored posts because they are all about what the writer thinks, believes, and knows. It's less about catering to a specific brand and what it pays the blogger to promote! If I happen to find a great non-sponsored post, I'll link it up and share it with you here and on Twitter via the #MotivatingMonday hashtag!  It's like being featured!  I can miss some amazing posts, but I don't want to!  So, in addition, if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too!  I'll visit your site, comment, promote and publicize! Remember, any link to your posts helps your blog numbers increase! (Affiliate links OK)