Tuesday, May 19, 2015

A Little More Kindness + #MotivatingMonday

I just read an article about how emotional abuse could be the invisible marriage killer. The definition of emotional abuse is "any nonphysical attitude or behavior that controls, intimidates, subjugates, demeans, punishes, or isolates another person by using degradation, humiliation or fear."  It might be a roll of the eyes, consistent criticism--even in the form of a joke, constant corrections, isolation, disrespect of personal space or things, humiliating comments in front of others, sarcasm, and so forth.  This is a continuous pattern and it ebbs and flows. It may be better for awhile but then the pattern picks up again after a time. Men or women can be guilty of this pattern and it brings unhappiness and lack of self-confidence in its wake. It is a relationship breaker.

Sometimes we can be guilty of participating in it ourselves and be unaware that we are doing so. It comes naturally to some and many times people do it to feel smarter, quicker on the draw, and have the upper hand. They don't realize that they can destroy someone's spirit by their actions. When children are treated unkindly and condescendingly by parents or caretakers, they develop a defense system. That line of defense is to be meaner than the person you are with. It is a  way to not be hurt.

We have a national epidemic of unkindness. We are on the offensive when it comes to being mean. We need to stop it! Here are a few questions to ask ourselves when we are in a relationship or even in public.

1) Is what I am saying constructive or is it aimed to tear someone down?
2) Am I being funny at someone else's expense?
3) Is my body language insulting towards someone else?
4) Am I rude to someone who isn't in control of what is going on?
5) When I am upset, do I unload verbal abuse?
6) Do I let someone know by my actions that I don't want to be with them?
7) Do I give off an air of superiority to those around me?

Refraining from doing these destructive things not only will help our own moods and give us a reality check, but we will be possibly preventing others from also being unkind and the epidemic that we see around us can be slowed down or stopped!

Today is Motivating Monday!  We all need a little motivation!  I, for one, love to explore other sites for motivating, mostly non-sponsored posts, tips, pictures and videos!  If I happen to find a great one, I'll link it up and share it with you on Twitter via the #MotivatingMonday hashtag!  It's like being featured!  Sometimes I miss some amazing posts.  So, in addition, if you'd like to link up yourself, you can do that too!  I'll visit your site, comment, promote and publicize! Don't be shy--I'm really very supportive!  Remember, any link to your posts helps your blog numbers increase!

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