Sunday, February 8, 2015

A Friend...Not A Bully + Sabbatical Sunday Link-up

Last week, a friend at work shared a tragic event in his family's life.  His cousin from Nebraska, a star high school football player, on a full-ride scholarship, I'm told, committed suicide.  He had it all.  But even guys being recruited to big-time schools can be bullied, apparently.  It's been two weeks since he shot himself, leaving behind grieving family, friends, and a confused hometown. A college will be offering a scholarship to someone else, not their first choice.  But #8 will never be forgotten. How very sad.  It goes to show that bullying knows no boundaries--no amount of talent, or lack of it, no demographic, religion, gender, race, social status or zip code can claim safety.   Below is an actual picture of the boy who was somehow targeted and bullied to the point that he felt he had to take his own life.

If bullying knows no boundaries, how can you prepare your child to be a survivor of the inevitable?  I personally remember being bullied in all grades.  In grade school, there were other groups of girls who would specifically target someone by looks and then try to bully them.  It was easy back then.  I would just run home.  I didn't ride the bus, so I didn't have to put up with craziness there.  In Jr. high school, it was just a matter of being accepted by a bigger group of peers than were in elementary school.  It was hard to find people at lunchtime who I wanted to be with or, conversely, wanted to be with me.  I'm not gonna lie, I spent some lonely times during that period of my life.  And in high school, if you let yourself get too far out of your element, you could definitely be prey to an outside group.  I found myself  alone in the locker room one day, when two girls of different race and background came in.  They saw a chance to get even for every wrong ever committed to them in this lifetime, it seemed, and their revenge was heaped upon me.  They got me cornered and started throwing shampoo bottles, bars of soap and brushes at me.  One hit me in the face.  As they approached even closer, I didn't wait to find out what would happen next.  I exited through the closest doors I saw and headed out toward the pool with the swimming class.  I hung out there for an indefinite period of time.  I didn't tell anyone though.  I didn't want the attention, I didn't want the hassle and I didn't want to appear weak.  But that's where I was wrong.  If someone is bullied, they need to tell someone.  Preferably someone in authority, but if not, just someone they trust. You may need that person to provide witness or just having some support is invaluable!

One of the most important things is to teach your child anti-bullying behavior.  Many bullies have been victims themselves.  If children are bullied in the home, they will probably act out of the home.  If you suspect you are the parent of a bully, you can start helping them to help others through volunteering and sharing. Teaching them to be tolerant of others who are different is really important.  After all, in America, you're always going to get different.  But that is what we are supposed to exemplify--tolerance to everyone.  In other words:

I like to take a break from the regular routine on Sundays.  It gives me a chance to clear my head, re-set priorities and appreciate the many blessings I've been given.  I rest, reflect, and I try to find ways to inspire me to be a better mom, wife, Christian, and person.  Sundays are my day to take a short sabbatical!  If you have a post that you'd like to share that is a little different from the ordinary weekday post, feel free to link up here!  We'd love to have you!  Although I don't ask anyone to follow anyone else or promote, I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  I will promote you on at least one of my Social Media sites.  And I'll try and link back to you so you'll know (I usually do that with Twitter)!  That's just 'cause I love you!  Of course anyone is more than welcome to check out the other links and sites!  That's what you do on a Sabbatical! 


Megan S said...

Depression is so frightening to me. It runs in my family and I always need to remember to be supportive and show everyone just how much I care about them. It's hard not placing some blame on yourself for not stopping it from happening, but it's a cruel disease that will take even the brightest lights from a life.

Robin Wilson said...

My prayers go out to the family and friends of that young man and to every child and adult that is bullied. Such a sad commentary on the state of our world. Thank you for sharing your story and this great post.

Terri Patillo said...

I had a few episodes of being bullied. All I wanted was revenge.
Many years ago, 13 to be exact, one of the girls who bullied me committed suicide.
That's when I realized that often the "bullies" are afraid, sad, lack self-confidence.
It was an eye-opener.
I've taught my daughters to stand up for themselves but to be as compassionate as possible even toward those who would harass them.

Mom Knows Best said...

I was the fat kid in school so I know all about being made fun of. I teach my children to be nice to people.

Susie's Reviews said...

This post really touched me. I have suffered depression for many years. Thank you for a great post!